Can Purell be used as lube?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
