how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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