Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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