Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
