so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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