Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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