I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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