I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
