If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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