Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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