Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
