used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Randomize
