Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
