remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
