did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
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