Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Send help, water and tortillas.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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