I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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