were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
