she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
