I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
