I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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