dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
