The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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