I want to stick my p in your. b.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
