weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
