so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
