From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
