a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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