Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
