at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
