Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
