Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
