Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Drunk is not a location!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
