Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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