We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
