It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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