I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
