I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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