i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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