Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
