so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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