Pregnant stripper...not hot.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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