Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
