I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
