Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
