I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
