it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
