Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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