I think I died a long time ago.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
