And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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