i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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