you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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