There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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