I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
