You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
